Saturday, 10 March 2012

We have a Dog

Not a huge surprise really - once you have had a dog you don't feel complete without one.And we sure didn't feel complete.....

Yes we have the cats and the ducks. We love all of them, but a dog is a dog......

This one is Steve's dog.......

HE liked the look of him, HE said write to the owner and HE wanted to go last night to meet him....

HE handed over the money and HE led him out to the car.

Ergo - HIS dog.

Not that he isn't gorgeous (dog!). He is supposedly a 6 month old Springer Spaniel x GSD. But who knows? He is certainly very handsome.......

And affectionate, and fairly well-behaved.

He has met the cats and the ducks. There is clearly work to be done with the cats but Ella The Brave has made overtures towards friendship - Sam the Septic is a little more wary! The ducks? Not an eyelid batted on either side.

No doubt there will be some adventures to be reported here before too long.........

His name?

Well he was Pickle, but he is going to look to regal for that, so I think he will be Dill (Pickle) 

The Dog. 

(Who remembers Dill the Dog?!)

Wednesday, 7 March 2012

A Death in the Family

We went to work on Monday - we had a carpet to clean in an elderly people's sheltered accommodation.

That went well - everyone was impressed with our work and the manager said he would be happy to write us a  letter of recommendation for prospective customers. Woo hoo!!!

Then we went to see a friend - Steve was borrowing a piece of woodworking machinery from her husband to help with the duck houses.

And home at around 4 pm.

The first thing we noticed was a strident call from one of the ducks in the back garden. It sounded like it was coming from the nursery so that would be either Big Bertha or Little Shadow. (These were the 2 extras we got from Basingstoke last week).

We went to the nursery and sure enough Bertha was shouting. Need more food? Water? Then we noticed Shadow was sitting underneath the ramp to the sleeping quarters. Just sitting. On closer inspection we found she was dead. We secured the ramp/door at night with a piece of string. By a freak accident she had got her head through this and hung herself.

And she was still warm.

I was distraught - more concerned about the effect it had had or would have on Bertha. The first thing we did was move Bertha in with the four back garden ducks - Dot, Ebony, Ivory and Opal. I couldn't leave her in the nursery alone for fear she would become depressed, and while it is probably a little early for her to be outdoors (remember we don't know how old she is) it seemed like the best alternative.

She walked in looking far more confident than I imagine she felt.

After a bit of gossiping amongst themselves they accepted her into their midst.

We then had to do something with Little Shadow.

She was put into the pond along the lane where all the dead in shell ducks and the non viable eggs have gone.

Yesterday I was not good. I was blaming myself for Shadow's death and trying very hard to find a reason for it.

That reason occurred to me today.

Had both Shadow and Bertha survived they would have become too bonded to each other. That would have made integration with the others almost impossible and could have lead to bullying. This way, traumatic as it was, Bertha has been accepted by the elders.

One of life's tough lessons.

I keep thinking I am too thin skinned for this duck lark. But if I didn't care I wouldn't be able to do it at all would I?

Sunday, 4 March 2012

More Interesting?

Well it's the best part of a week since I have been here......

The question is - am I more interesting this way or daily?


Had I not made that executive decision last week I would not have been around so much anyway.......I have had my meds increased.....

Those of you who know me and/or the illness will understand this. I feel the need to withdraw from everyone and everything when I get really low. And that is where I have been this week.

It was clearly coming on for a while but I didn't notice the signs. Steve, however did, and when we saw the GP on Wednesday he expressed his concerns. Apparently I have been obsessing over various things (was this one I wonder?) and that to him is a sure sign that I am going downhill. I said Winter had been difficult as it usually is for depression sufferers but I was battling against an increase in anti depressants. I explained to her (new doctor and very nice too) that it made me feel such a failure to admit I needed an increase. She put it very clearly that were I diabetic my insulin needs would waver. This was a very similar thing - just an inbalance of chemicals in my brain that vary from time to time. It has nothing to do with me or my coping abilities - it is in my body, and as such I have no control over it.

And she said that what I have to deal with (dad) would be a trial for anyone without my illness.

So all in all I was content to double my dosage.

Ha! That was just the beginning. The reality of it hadn't kicked in then. It has now............

I don't know what side effects others have with any other drugs, but anti depressants, be it an increase or a new drug, always have the same effect on me. Day One my eyes feel hot and dry, a little like conjunctivitis. Day Two my tummy feels fragile and I am not keen to eat (can't eat much at the moment anyway!). Day Three (which is today) everything happens in slo-mo. I move my head and it takes my brain a second or two to catch up on what my eyes are seeing. That's the best way I can describe this feeling.

The good news is that I can feel my mood lifting slightly.

I have also had a nasty headache for over a week. Ex-Lax is sorting that!